Tag Archives: simple living

THE CHEQUERED KITCHEN

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The gulmohar tree outside my kitchen window seems to be growing parallel to my life. It’s a prime witness to my escapades in the pantry – the triumphs and failures, the sweat and the tears. When I moved into my current home seven years ago and started doing it up, my prime focus was the kitchen. Food is important to me; not just what I set out on the table, but the entire process of putting it together. I’m quite the forager at heart and you would know if you observe how much I love wandering around the marketplace. My daughter is greatly amused by my excitement for fresh, beautiful produce. The sight of blood red tomatoes, bright orange carrots, and fresh leafy greens is something I can’t resist. My insane love of veggies can be traced back to my Grandpa’s backyard vegetable patch. The taste of those eggplants, climbing spinach and ivy gourds came from pure love.

The reason I’m talking about vegetables and kitchens here and the connection it has with my minimalism theme is pretty clear. Simple food equates a simple life. Fresh foods inspire fresh thoughts. When the body is detoxified, so is the mind. We are what we eat. At least, that’s the philosophy of a sattvic or yoga diet.

Glamorous or simple, food is food. In the midst of all the Instagram and Facebook uploads of exotic and sometimes mysterious foods, I’m also happy to find food enthusiasts who promote simple, clean eats. They make you want to eat broccoli and spinach like it was manna from heaven (which it is). They are the ones I look out for. Simple meals are not passé. And fresh food is healing. As an Indian, nothing beats steaming rice topped with aromatic lentils and some veggies on the side for me. Or just-off-the griddle rotis (Indian flatbread) dunked in thick matar-paneer gravy (that’s green peas and cottage cheese). The taste of homemade food is always the best. And it’s good for you.

Recently, my house-help, Chanda taught me how to make jowar rotis (sorghum flatbread). These rotis dipped in a hot curry is a marriage made in heaven. Chanda must be around 60, but looks strong and healthy. Apparently, she hasn’t seen a doctor in years and doesn’t know what stomach gas feels like. Her diet is pretty straightforward and frugal, consisting mainly of whole grains and vegetables. She’s the kind of diet guru I’d like to follow.

For my birthday last month, my mother-in-law made me a traditional Mangalorean dessert. It was her birthday gift to me. I was absolutely stoked. To express my appreciation, I made her a nice curry of some fresh river fish and a side of veggies the next day. It’s wonderful how food became an expression of love and gratitude for us.

So food, to me, is not just about eating. It’s about enjoying the preliminaries and feeling the emotions. It’s about feeding the people I love. That’s why the kitchen is important to me. It’s where the soul of your home resides. Chopping with gusto, churning with passion, seasoning with love…these are great ways to put your focus in the moment and find pleasure in little things. Cooking is about nourishment, healing, creativity and art.  The best thing about this art… you can eat what you create!

© Renica Rego

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STAINS ON MY HEART

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It was around early May. A light breeze caressed the countryside and the day was fragrant with the sweet smell of summer bounties. We decided to explore the moorland and took the most twisted path there was. I was about 12 at the time, a city-bred child, but carrying around a rural soul. My young aunt led the way through thorny bushes and slippery trails. A couple of the neighbourhood kids, whom I’d befriended, followed us regaling me with stories from here and there. We reached the top an hour later, panting for breath, hungry and thirsty.

For a while then, we flopped on the yellowing grass, a steady banter making us break into breathless giggles every now and then. When we were all fagged out, we just lay there, silence covering us like a blanket. And just like that, I looked up at the sky and my soul stilled. I cannot really describe what went through my juvenile heart, but I was completely riveted. I lost all sense of time and can’t recall how long I stayed there; but to this day, I rate that as my most sacrosanct moment.

Later, we had devoured freshly picked wild mangoes, the juice running down our hands, creating almost permanent stains on our clothes. But looking back, the stains of memory left on my heart were clearly much more permanent. I wanted to stay up there longer, but the sun was dipping westwards and my aunt was afraid we wouldn’t make it home before dark.  So we hurried back. Even as I stumbled along behind the others, my mind was still in a trance.

Sometime during February of this year, when I was grappling with one of my dark days, the above incident popped into my head. I closed my eyes, trying to relive the peace I had felt on that hilltop. And sure enough, I felt it.  From that day onwards, I have been looking for and finding joy and sanctity in the most inconceivable places. It’s funny how we get caught up in the drama of daily life and overlook the central theme completely. If we look hard enough though, we always find what we need.

Last week, when I was visiting mom for a couple of days, I made the most of the lovely parks in her neighbourhood. I pretended I was 12 again, lay down on the grass and gazed at the sky, taking in the vastness and beauty of the heavens. It was beautiful. In moments like these, the mind empties itself of the clutter we carry around needlessly and all that’s left is peace and gratitude.

Some wild mangoes afterwards would have been perfect, but the store bought ones did just fine. : )

© Renica Rego

 

WALKING BACK TO HAPPINESS

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There’s something about early morning walks that fills you with hope and affability. I’m saying that now, but frankly, I’ve arrived at this bit of wisdom after a lot of foot-dragging! Mom had been raving to me about the benefits of walking for an eternity. Of course, like always, her wise words bounced right off my disinclined ears. I couldn’t bring myself to dress up and step out of the house first thing in the morning. It was too much effort.  But since I started ‘The Mind Declutter Project’, I’ve been more open-minded and willing to give anything a go.

So recently, when mom started her rant again, I dusted my walking shoes, dug up my track pants and toddled along to the neighbourhood park. At first, I just wandered about, exploring the trail, checking out the joggers and gawking at the hard-core sprinters with open mouthed awe. The first couple of days, I just enjoyed the backdrop. The new blooms in multiple colours, the lush greenery, the butterflies flitting from one flower to another, the incessant chirping of birds and the perky squirrels scurrying around filled me with delight. I got so busy admiring nature that I forgot everything else.The walking just happened side by side.

A week later, it became evident that the apathy was being replaced by enthusiasm. I started spending more and more time in the park. The exertion seemed to bother me less and less, my stamina surged and the bonhomie of my fellow ramblers added to my buoyancy. I discovered songs I didn’t know existed on my playlist.  And I enjoyed the favourites even more, simply because now I had the perfect setting to enjoy the melodies. Most days now, even after I’m done with the exercise, I hang around on my favourite bench just to enjoy some more music. One of these days, I’d like to climb atop the wooden deck which looks out over the mangroves in the distance and write. It looks like the perfect spot to lose myself.

It’s been a couple of months now and I’m completely hooked. I try not to miss a single day. It’s an adrenaline rush I am not willing to pass up. I’ve tried other forms of exercise earlier, mostly indoors, but the simple act of putting one foot ahead of the other is therapeutic, enthusing and humble all at once. It’s free too. So if you aren’t already walking, I urge you to try it.  Pick some good music, lace up your walking shoes and get going!  It’s the easiest way to gain health, declutter the mind, find perspective, may be make some new friends or just space out. The air is ripe with possibilities.

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AMMA’S CHARMING STORIES

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On balmy summer nights, when there is a rare and empty silence, I look up at the moonlit sky and miss Amma.  My childhood ruminations can never be complete without a mention of her. Those were the days of ‘no agenda in life’, no right or wrong, just living in the moment.   Most nights after dinner, the neighbourhood kids would gather around Amma. We would spread out mats under the drumstick tree and make ourselves comfortable, our eyes lustrous with expectation. Amma was an avid storyteller. Her stories were alluring, laced with drama and intrigue. We hung on to her every word, totally enraptured. Our mothers usually huddled around in a separate group, but at times a hush would fall on their gossip and we knew they were as drawn to the tales as we were.

Amma was an elderly woman who lived with her grandson.  They were poor and occupied a shabby, ramshackle house in the quarter. At one time, she had been nanny to a now famous Bollywood actress. But she never bragged about it.  What defined her was her incredible storytelling, her simplicity and her warmth.

The other night, at about 1.30 a.m., we were awakened by a power cut. It was unbearably hot.  For the first one hour, we tried to cover our discomfort with jokes and conversation.  I fanned myself with a newspaper until my arm threatened to fall off. When we could take it no more, we went down and sat in our car with the air-conditioner on. In the eerie silence of that night, dotted just by the hum of the air-conditioner and an owl screeching in the distance, I closed my eyes and imagined I was back under the spangled skies of my simple childhood. I could hear Amma’s lulling voice and the camaraderie of the neighbourhood, and like a serenade, it soothed my soul.

Life was never meant to be a struggle.  It was meant to be simple; to unfold effortlessly.  Like Amma’s charming stories.

NOT ABOUT THE WARDROBE

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As I practice living with less, I am gradually discovering a positive change in my life.  Simplifying little areas in your home can lead to simplifying larger areas of your life.  I am hardly qualified to preach yet, but my baby steps are leading me to a better place.  That much I can certainly vouch for.

When I kicked off my journey towards minimalism, one of the first things that caught my attention was my wardrobe. That has always been my primary obsession. No points for guessing that I am a chronic shopper. But I came to the realization that my wardrobe couldn’t contain my chronicity anymore. I’m not quite Rebecca Bloomwood from ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’, but that’s hardly any consolation.  Funnily enough, consolation was my mild to medium OCD that came in handy while arranging my piles of tops, pants, dresses, etc., so at least my wardrobe was never messy.  But there’s only so much that space can hold. No amount of spring cleaning and giving away stuff seemed enough.  And despite having so much, the ‘I have nothing to wear’ syndrome hounded me all the time.

Just as I was contemplating how to fix this predicament, I happened to stumble upon the http://theproject333.com.  As the site states: Project333 is a minimalist fashion challenge that invites you to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months. You donate, box or trash your other clothes.  As the 3 months draw to an end, you can pick the next 33 items and so on.  The challenge of stripping down my wardrobe to only 33 items appealed to me.  But of course, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy!  I have to sheepishly admit that despite my best efforts, I still haven’t managed to bring down the total count to 33, but I’m getting there.  My wardrobe is now so much simpler and easier to navigate!

The point, however, is minimalism.  The idea of creating a capsule wardrobe and making it work, is not so much about the wardrobe.  It is more about simplifying your life and being content.  It’s a step towards decluttering the mind.  And it works!  I don’t stand in front of the wardrobe anymore, clueless about what to wear.  When there is less to choose from, it’s easier to pick.  The same thing goes for everything in life.  Less is definitely more.

SWITCH YOUR FOCUS

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I have always loathed summers.  But this year, I’ve decided to pay as little attention to the heat as possible.  I cannot afford to run the air-conditioner all the time (besides it isn’t healthy), so I am trying to figure out ways to remain cool, especially in the kitchen.  A couple of days ago, I got a small wall fan fixed over the sink.  Okay, that’s only a wee bit helpful, but what’s actually proving to be precious is random chats with friends and some peppy music.  And before I know it, I’m through with the day’s cooking.

De-cluttering the mind isn’t as daunting as it first seemed.  It’s a good thing that little things enthuse me, so all I need to do is learn to focus on those and ignore the rest.  Just watching the birds in the morning, humming a song and appreciating the view from my window brighten up my mornings.

The little things are way more important than we are willing to concede.  Reading a good book, writing (of course), a good movie or TV show, random conversations, a day out with friends, walking barefoot on grass, bird-gazing, star-gazing (nature-gazing, actually), getting creative in the kitchen, giggling at silly things, laughing uncontrollably until my cheeks are flushed and my stomach aches, dressing up even if it’s just to pick up groceries, hugging people, cuddling with loved ones….my list is long.  If I’m happy, the world around me looks happy.

This past weekend I conducted a small survey.  I asked my friends this simple question:  What are the top 5 things that excite you?  Some of them replied promptly, some took their time and the rest seemed floored by the question.  Maybe some even dismissed it thinking: ‘She’s got nothing better to do!’

But hey, think about it.  If you do not know what excites you anymore, it means that you have taken the focus away from you.  And it’s not a good thing.  It’s a new-age trend to splurge on expensive vacations or frequent mini holidays just to de-stress, but most people ignore the little things that can actually dilute the stresses of their daily lives.

In the words of Rhonda Byrne, author of ‘The Secret’, “Switch your focus to the things you love, the things that excite you, and then you’ll be on track to a really good life”.

Go on, give it a try.  ; )

THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY

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Procrastinaton is the death of us. We might have the right intentions, the ability to carry them through and the opportunities too.  But all we do is find excuses.   Everyday life can keep us busy, yes.  But the easiest way to find time is to simplify our day.  So prioritize. Family and work are important, but so are you.  And believe me, there is enough time for everything.

Mostly we hold back because of fear.  We are afraid to step into unknown territory.  What if I fail?  What if people make fun of me? What if I get stuck on the way and don’t know what to do?  What if I’m not as good as I think I am.  Who cares?  Hey, just focus on the fun, the experiences, the satisfaction of following your heart.  You don’t have to win awards.  The very fact that you tried will be enough.  Life is simple.  Enjoy it while you can.

Here’s something I wrote a while ago about procrastination.

WELCOME TO SOMEDAY

I’ve been on this rough and winding road

No end in sight, the journey is long

The sun is setting, it’s getting dark

Gotta stop awhile, but then move on

 

Always wanted to go one day and

Bury my fears down by the bay

Gather some courage, and finally say

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

 

My haversack had waited endlessly

Got all I needed, but just couldn’t see

Procrastination was the death of me

Someday would never come, if I didn’t leave

 

I stopped at a shabby roadside shack

Sipped some coffee, walked a little track

My eyes spotted a gritty little plant

It was pushing its way up through the rocks

 

There is always a way, it seemed to say

The darkening sky promised another day

The stars sprayed me with their brilliant light

I was ready now to put up a fight

 

Procrastination was the death of me

Someday would never come, if I didn’t leave

Now I’ve got the nerve to finally say

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

 

So now I’m on a rough and winding road

No end in sight, the journey is long

But the brilliance of stars screams out and says

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

Hope you find the motivation to follow your heart.  Blessed be!

© Renica Rego

A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE

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March ended on a cheerful note.  It was mum’s birthday on the 31st.  Mum has always been an advocate of simple living.  She turned 68 this year, but has more energy and enthusiasm than a 40-year old (that would be me! Haha!).  She leads a very modest life.  Frugal meals, long walks, evenings with friends and tinkling laughter – these are the things that define her.

Usually we take mum out on her birthday, buy her lunch or dinner and bring her expensive gifts. This year, my brother and I agreed that a simple and meaningful birthday celebration would make her happier.  So we decided to cook for her.  It was meant to be a surprise, so we kept it all hush-hush.  My sister-in-law made delicious butter chicken, mutton and rajma (red kidney bean gravy).  I made a rice pilaf and fresh coriander chutney and my brother made a yummy cake.  The joy on her face was priceless.  And the image of her sitting cross-legged on the floor and relishing that meal will never leave my memory.

After lunch, we piled up on her bed, surrounding her with laughter and conversation. My adorable 16-month old nephew, kept us in splits with his antics.  Later, we took a leisurely walk in the park, let the grass tickle our bare feet, soaked up some warm sunshine, admired the pretty blossoms and swapped some gossip.  It was a glorious day.  Ordinary and exceptional all at once!

As I’m writing this, U2s song ‘Ordinary Love’ is playing in my head.  “The sea wants to kiss the golden shore, the sunlight warms your skin/ All the beauty that’s been lost before, wants to find us again…. We can’t fall any further, if we can’t feel ordinary love/ And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love”.

I agree.

© Renica Rego

Magnify your blessings

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The other day, I had the privilege of catching an uplifting homily by Rev. Justin, a very dynamic speaker at our community gathering. He spoke about how we focus on our little problems and make them bigger.

He shared a story which goes something like this.  A young couple, madly in love with each other, finally got married.  The wedding was an elaborate, expensive affair.  Everything was perfect.  The only spoiler for the bride was that her beloved brother could not attend.  His leave was due a couple of weeks later and he promised to visit her then.  So she decided to save him a piece of the wedding cake.  She packed the piece of cake in a pretty see-through container and kept it in the freezer.

Sometime the following week, the couple got into an argument.  The husband tried his best to apologize and pacify his new bride, but she was stubborn and wouldn’t even talk to him. A trivial issue blown up for no reason. Two days later, as she opened the freezer, she saw the cake sitting there and tears welled up in her eyes.  That frozen bit of pastry was a reminder of their wedding ceremony, the merry guests celebrating their love and the vows they had made to each other.  She realized that a little argument wasn’t worth all the pain of the past couple of days and immediately went and hugged her husband.

So yeah, the little things matter. We all make mistakes despite our best intentions.  But what’s important is to keep reminding ourselves to ignore the petty stuff.  When you find tiny nuggets of joy, try holding a magnifying glass to them. See how the smiles grow into giant grins.  Life isn’t a joyride all the time.  The humps will be plenty and they’ll slow you down.  The vipers might get stuck and cloud your vision.  You will run out of gas in the middle of nowhere.  But always carry your magnifying glass wherever you go.  Like the cake in the story, it will help you focus.

Time to simplify? Well, yes.

BECOMING A MINIMALIST

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So yet another brand new year had come hurtling along.  Usually my resolutions hardly ever make it past the first couple of weeks.  But I had decided that 2014 was going to be dynamic!  Those early January days might seem like a waste of time, but I believe that if nothing, they’ve added a tiny bit of growth to my slow-in-progress evolution.  Now as I’d hit the 40s, and after two doctors had discreetly mentioned ‘menopause’ as probable causes for my random symptoms, I figured it was time to bring push to shove.

I started to take my writing seriously and completed a song writing course with commendable grades. Okay, here I need to mention that I have previously had quite the reputation for leaving things halfway without any remorse or regret.  That had changed with the completion of this course and it was an achievement in itself.  Another major change in the offing was attention to health.  So even though I practised yoga in the mornings, I added evening walks to my schedule a few times a week.

January passed, things were rolling along smoothly and I got a wee bit smug.  Then came the epic fall!  Literally!  Yes, I fell down a flight of steps for no apparent reason.  As I went around garnering attention for my sore foot, a nasty rash appeared on both my lower legs.  It wasn’t funny anymore.  As it turned out, it was way more serious than a common rash and the doctor gave it a fancy name after putting me through a series of fancy tests. Sometime, in between, my mostly dormant spondylitis decided to act up as well. My writing, exercise and morale had hit a low.  I yo-yoed between self-pity and panic!

Just when I had started putting in effort to stay healthy and follow my passions, roadblocks had started appearing a little too much.  However, as I settled down and started analyzing, a surprising mellowness started emerging from within.  I ditched the allopath and went the ayurvedic way.  The clean sattvic diet started making me feel good.  So much so, that I hardly even missed the exotic stuff.  I realised that simplicity was indeed the essence of beauty, health, and all things good.  There were lessons being learned.

Heartened now, I decided to take simplicity to the next level and made a conscious effort to declutter my life.  I started with the obvious, unwanted stuff lying around the house. Next, I turned to my most sacred space, my wardrobe.  I’ve always been obsessed with clothes and my closet is filled with beautiful stuff that I regularly pick up at glossy stores.  (But even then, I have nothing to wear when I go out.  But that’s a story for another time.)  I cleared out DVD/CD drawers (it’s 2014, who keeps that stuff anyways!!!), and cutlery drawers and lofts and shelves until I collapsed into a gleeful heap.

But as my very wise husband pointed out, the biggest clutter mountain was yet to be scaled.  The dark, daunting closet where all our skeletons reside – the mind!  Our thoughts, feelings, past hurts and memories, these are the very core of our problems, physical or otherwise.

So now I’m taking on the most unnerving project of them all – The Mind Declutter Project.  It’s only when I succeed in this one that I can actually write about ‘Becoming a Minimalist’.  Until then, I’m just an evolving declutterer.