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STAINS ON MY HEART

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It was around early May. A light breeze caressed the countryside and the day was fragrant with the sweet smell of summer bounties. We decided to explore the moorland and took the most twisted path there was. I was about 12 at the time, a city-bred child, but carrying around a rural soul. My young aunt led the way through thorny bushes and slippery trails. A couple of the neighbourhood kids, whom I’d befriended, followed us regaling me with stories from here and there. We reached the top an hour later, panting for breath, hungry and thirsty.

For a while then, we flopped on the yellowing grass, a steady banter making us break into breathless giggles every now and then. When we were all fagged out, we just lay there, silence covering us like a blanket. And just like that, I looked up at the sky and my soul stilled. I cannot really describe what went through my juvenile heart, but I was completely riveted. I lost all sense of time and can’t recall how long I stayed there; but to this day, I rate that as my most sacrosanct moment.

Later, we had devoured freshly picked wild mangoes, the juice running down our hands, creating almost permanent stains on our clothes. But looking back, the stains of memory left on my heart were clearly much more permanent. I wanted to stay up there longer, but the sun was dipping westwards and my aunt was afraid we wouldn’t make it home before dark.  So we hurried back. Even as I stumbled along behind the others, my mind was still in a trance.

Sometime during February of this year, when I was grappling with one of my dark days, the above incident popped into my head. I closed my eyes, trying to relive the peace I had felt on that hilltop. And sure enough, I felt it.  From that day onwards, I have been looking for and finding joy and sanctity in the most inconceivable places. It’s funny how we get caught up in the drama of daily life and overlook the central theme completely. If we look hard enough though, we always find what we need.

Last week, when I was visiting mom for a couple of days, I made the most of the lovely parks in her neighbourhood. I pretended I was 12 again, lay down on the grass and gazed at the sky, taking in the vastness and beauty of the heavens. It was beautiful. In moments like these, the mind empties itself of the clutter we carry around needlessly and all that’s left is peace and gratitude.

Some wild mangoes afterwards would have been perfect, but the store bought ones did just fine. : )

© Renica Rego

 

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LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD, Take II

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A big thank you to Polina of MY LIGHT BAG for nominating my blog, THE MIND DECLUTTER PROJECT for the Liebster Blog Award!

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My answers to Polina’s questions are as follows:

1.What is your top simple pleasure?

A. My top pleasure is most definitely writing.  When the words flow out, I can physically feel the outpouring of my heart and the joy it         gives me is unparalleled.

2. What are your grateful for today?

A. I am grateful that God has blessed me with a talent and that it helps me connect with people from all over the world.

3. Name a book that has inspired you to make changes in your life.

A. ‘The Secret’.

4. Do you own something you don’t need or love but can’t bear to get rid of?

A. Not really. It’s easy for me to let go of things I don’t need.

5. What is your consumption weakness i.e. what can you just not resist from buying every time?

A. Clothes and Books.

6. Finish the sentence: “I am grateful that I do not own…”

A. An unloving heart, simply because the ability to love is very, very important.

7. Tell us three of the best material things you own.

A. My laptop, because it’s my best writing tool.  My books, because they are my best friends.  And my clothes!  I just love my clothes.

8. What is the top thing cluttering your life at the moment?

A. Routine housework.  I like doing things around the house, but I feel that at this point, it’s taking away a lot of time that I could have used to write and read.

9. Is there any part of your life you’d like to simplify, such as work, hobbies, social outings, personal projects etc. ?

A. I am on a decluttering project as you can gather from my blog.  So right now, I’m okay because things seem simple enough.

10.What is your favourite quote or motto?

A. When it can’t be done, it must be done.

 

In keeping with the award rules, I nominate the following blogs, which I have liked.  There are other blogs I like, but they have over 200 followers.  Sorry I am nominating only 6, but I haven’t had a chance to discover more.

  1. The Minimalist March
  2. 365 Simplify
  3. Find Your Middle Ground
  4. True Beauty Ministries
  5. In the Stillness of Willow Hill

  6. The Blissful Poet

  7. My Light Bag

The rules of the Liebster Blog Award are as follows:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you.
  2. Answer the 10 questions given to you by your nominator.
  3. Nominate 10 other bloggers with less than 200 followers.
  4. Display the award on your blog.
  5. Post 10 questions of your own for the blogger to answer.
  6. List these rules for the blogger to follow.
  7. Inform the people you have nominated.

My questions for the nominated bloggers:

  1. When did you first discover your writing talent and how?
  2. Why do you write?
  3. What is the best feedback (positive/negative) you have ever received?
  4. Which are your top three reads?
  5. How would you measure your success as a writer?
  6. What’s the motto or quote you live by?
  7. Who or what is your biggest inspiration?
  8. What are the three things you just can’t live without?
  9. What is your favourite time to write and how do you discipline yourself to stick by it?
  10. If you are granted just one wish, what would you ask for?

Thank you again to Polina of MY LIGHT BAG for choosing ‘The MInd Declutter Project‘ for the Liebster Blog Award.  I cannot express my gratitude enough.

Blessed be.

WALKING BACK TO HAPPINESS

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There’s something about early morning walks that fills you with hope and affability. I’m saying that now, but frankly, I’ve arrived at this bit of wisdom after a lot of foot-dragging! Mom had been raving to me about the benefits of walking for an eternity. Of course, like always, her wise words bounced right off my disinclined ears. I couldn’t bring myself to dress up and step out of the house first thing in the morning. It was too much effort.  But since I started ‘The Mind Declutter Project’, I’ve been more open-minded and willing to give anything a go.

So recently, when mom started her rant again, I dusted my walking shoes, dug up my track pants and toddled along to the neighbourhood park. At first, I just wandered about, exploring the trail, checking out the joggers and gawking at the hard-core sprinters with open mouthed awe. The first couple of days, I just enjoyed the backdrop. The new blooms in multiple colours, the lush greenery, the butterflies flitting from one flower to another, the incessant chirping of birds and the perky squirrels scurrying around filled me with delight. I got so busy admiring nature that I forgot everything else.The walking just happened side by side.

A week later, it became evident that the apathy was being replaced by enthusiasm. I started spending more and more time in the park. The exertion seemed to bother me less and less, my stamina surged and the bonhomie of my fellow ramblers added to my buoyancy. I discovered songs I didn’t know existed on my playlist.  And I enjoyed the favourites even more, simply because now I had the perfect setting to enjoy the melodies. Most days now, even after I’m done with the exercise, I hang around on my favourite bench just to enjoy some more music. One of these days, I’d like to climb atop the wooden deck which looks out over the mangroves in the distance and write. It looks like the perfect spot to lose myself.

It’s been a couple of months now and I’m completely hooked. I try not to miss a single day. It’s an adrenaline rush I am not willing to pass up. I’ve tried other forms of exercise earlier, mostly indoors, but the simple act of putting one foot ahead of the other is therapeutic, enthusing and humble all at once. It’s free too. So if you aren’t already walking, I urge you to try it.  Pick some good music, lace up your walking shoes and get going!  It’s the easiest way to gain health, declutter the mind, find perspective, may be make some new friends or just space out. The air is ripe with possibilities.

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AMMA’S CHARMING STORIES

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On balmy summer nights, when there is a rare and empty silence, I look up at the moonlit sky and miss Amma.  My childhood ruminations can never be complete without a mention of her. Those were the days of ‘no agenda in life’, no right or wrong, just living in the moment.   Most nights after dinner, the neighbourhood kids would gather around Amma. We would spread out mats under the drumstick tree and make ourselves comfortable, our eyes lustrous with expectation. Amma was an avid storyteller. Her stories were alluring, laced with drama and intrigue. We hung on to her every word, totally enraptured. Our mothers usually huddled around in a separate group, but at times a hush would fall on their gossip and we knew they were as drawn to the tales as we were.

Amma was an elderly woman who lived with her grandson.  They were poor and occupied a shabby, ramshackle house in the quarter. At one time, she had been nanny to a now famous Bollywood actress. But she never bragged about it.  What defined her was her incredible storytelling, her simplicity and her warmth.

The other night, at about 1.30 a.m., we were awakened by a power cut. It was unbearably hot.  For the first one hour, we tried to cover our discomfort with jokes and conversation.  I fanned myself with a newspaper until my arm threatened to fall off. When we could take it no more, we went down and sat in our car with the air-conditioner on. In the eerie silence of that night, dotted just by the hum of the air-conditioner and an owl screeching in the distance, I closed my eyes and imagined I was back under the spangled skies of my simple childhood. I could hear Amma’s lulling voice and the camaraderie of the neighbourhood, and like a serenade, it soothed my soul.

Life was never meant to be a struggle.  It was meant to be simple; to unfold effortlessly.  Like Amma’s charming stories.

A LITTLE RANDOMNESS

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When I recently wrote about my rule of learning one new thing every year (you can read about that here: http://m.speakingtree.in/spiritual-articles/lifestyle/hey-aren-t-you-bored), a lot of people responded saying it inspired them to question their priorities and think about how they could do the same. It proves that we all have the desire to go beyond the mundane and experience our creative side. That’s where the passion lies.

Working hard and being ambitious is a good thing. But a little randomness is critical to your personal growth. Say hello to yourself every now and then. Go a little retrospective on yourself. When you are in touch with your inner self, you will gravitate towards things that interest you naturally. If something appeals to you, dig a little deeper. If it fascinates you enough, go ahead and try it.

Believe me, I was clueless myself.  Like most people, I did not even know what I wanted until much later in life.  Even when I did, I procrastinated. But one fine day, I woke up and decided that I did not want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. When I acknowledged who I was and what I was meant to do, it all fell together like a jigsaw puzzle.  The picture on the box was already there, all I had to do was pick up the pieces and fix them together. No one is going to fix you; you have to do it yourself. Sometimes one little step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  It doesn’t really matter if you’re going at snail’s pace, as long as you don’t stop. There is so much beauty and creativity out there. It’s crazy not to enjoy it.

This whole minimalism and mind declutter idea too is just a way to make sure that the inspiration has enough room to settle in.  All I’m doing is giving it a shot. Try and do the same.  See what touches your soul.  Feed your creativity. You will be surprised where it takes you. You put yourself out there, you explore the outer world, and slowly but surely you end up discovering your inner world.  That is where you are supposed to be. That is your destination. That is where you will feel alive!  Let things play out the way they’re meant to be.

Recently I was rummaging through some old books and found an old, dog-eared copy of ‘The Thorn Birds’ by Colleen McCollough.  That book had mesmerized me when I first read it. I leafed through the yellowed pages and it was like living the tale all over again. That’s how I feel about life.  I want to pick it up, brush off the dust, iron out the ends and recreate the magic.

NOT ABOUT THE WARDROBE

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As I practice living with less, I am gradually discovering a positive change in my life.  Simplifying little areas in your home can lead to simplifying larger areas of your life.  I am hardly qualified to preach yet, but my baby steps are leading me to a better place.  That much I can certainly vouch for.

When I kicked off my journey towards minimalism, one of the first things that caught my attention was my wardrobe. That has always been my primary obsession. No points for guessing that I am a chronic shopper. But I came to the realization that my wardrobe couldn’t contain my chronicity anymore. I’m not quite Rebecca Bloomwood from ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’, but that’s hardly any consolation.  Funnily enough, consolation was my mild to medium OCD that came in handy while arranging my piles of tops, pants, dresses, etc., so at least my wardrobe was never messy.  But there’s only so much that space can hold. No amount of spring cleaning and giving away stuff seemed enough.  And despite having so much, the ‘I have nothing to wear’ syndrome hounded me all the time.

Just as I was contemplating how to fix this predicament, I happened to stumble upon the http://theproject333.com.  As the site states: Project333 is a minimalist fashion challenge that invites you to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months. You donate, box or trash your other clothes.  As the 3 months draw to an end, you can pick the next 33 items and so on.  The challenge of stripping down my wardrobe to only 33 items appealed to me.  But of course, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy!  I have to sheepishly admit that despite my best efforts, I still haven’t managed to bring down the total count to 33, but I’m getting there.  My wardrobe is now so much simpler and easier to navigate!

The point, however, is minimalism.  The idea of creating a capsule wardrobe and making it work, is not so much about the wardrobe.  It is more about simplifying your life and being content.  It’s a step towards decluttering the mind.  And it works!  I don’t stand in front of the wardrobe anymore, clueless about what to wear.  When there is less to choose from, it’s easier to pick.  The same thing goes for everything in life.  Less is definitely more.

UBUNTU

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It is said that the poor are the most generous.  I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but generosity does seem more profound when you have little and yet give. I was raised in a modest neighbourhood.  We were probably the most well-to-do family as compared with the rest, and believe me we weren’t doing that great.  My next door neighbours were a family of six – mother, father and four sons.  They had a meagre income and were always struggling to make ends meet.  Even then, I remember bowls of steaming food arriving for us before they had eaten themselves.  I especially looked forward to the festivals.  That was when the best food was served.  There was not a single festival when they ate without sending us food first.  The other neighbours were big-hearted too; so open-handedness and simplicity was a staple we grew up on.

Now when I’m getting attracted to the concept of minimalism, it’s probably me going back to my roots.  If you have experienced the beauty of a simple life and simple emotions you will understand this better.  If you haven’t, you’d probably want to know what the fuss is about.  At the end of the day, all we ever want is peace, happiness and good health.

My friend just forwarded me this very beautiful story.  An anthropologist proposed a game to a bunch of African tribal kids.  He placed a basket of fruit under a tree and asked them to stand about 100 metres away from it.  Then he announced that whoever got to the basket first could have all the fruits.  As soon as he said, “Ready, steady, go!” guess what the kids did.  They held on to each other’s hands and ran towards the tree together.  They then divided the fruit amongst themselves and happily relished the meal.  When asked why they did so, they replied in unison, “Ubuntu”.  Ubuntu in their language means: ‘I am, because we are!’

When I imbibe this philosophy of ‘Ubuntu’ fully and honestly, I would have crossed an important milestone in my journey towards minimalism.

© Renica Rego

SWITCH YOUR FOCUS

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I have always loathed summers.  But this year, I’ve decided to pay as little attention to the heat as possible.  I cannot afford to run the air-conditioner all the time (besides it isn’t healthy), so I am trying to figure out ways to remain cool, especially in the kitchen.  A couple of days ago, I got a small wall fan fixed over the sink.  Okay, that’s only a wee bit helpful, but what’s actually proving to be precious is random chats with friends and some peppy music.  And before I know it, I’m through with the day’s cooking.

De-cluttering the mind isn’t as daunting as it first seemed.  It’s a good thing that little things enthuse me, so all I need to do is learn to focus on those and ignore the rest.  Just watching the birds in the morning, humming a song and appreciating the view from my window brighten up my mornings.

The little things are way more important than we are willing to concede.  Reading a good book, writing (of course), a good movie or TV show, random conversations, a day out with friends, walking barefoot on grass, bird-gazing, star-gazing (nature-gazing, actually), getting creative in the kitchen, giggling at silly things, laughing uncontrollably until my cheeks are flushed and my stomach aches, dressing up even if it’s just to pick up groceries, hugging people, cuddling with loved ones….my list is long.  If I’m happy, the world around me looks happy.

This past weekend I conducted a small survey.  I asked my friends this simple question:  What are the top 5 things that excite you?  Some of them replied promptly, some took their time and the rest seemed floored by the question.  Maybe some even dismissed it thinking: ‘She’s got nothing better to do!’

But hey, think about it.  If you do not know what excites you anymore, it means that you have taken the focus away from you.  And it’s not a good thing.  It’s a new-age trend to splurge on expensive vacations or frequent mini holidays just to de-stress, but most people ignore the little things that can actually dilute the stresses of their daily lives.

In the words of Rhonda Byrne, author of ‘The Secret’, “Switch your focus to the things you love, the things that excite you, and then you’ll be on track to a really good life”.

Go on, give it a try.  ; )

THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY

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Procrastinaton is the death of us. We might have the right intentions, the ability to carry them through and the opportunities too.  But all we do is find excuses.   Everyday life can keep us busy, yes.  But the easiest way to find time is to simplify our day.  So prioritize. Family and work are important, but so are you.  And believe me, there is enough time for everything.

Mostly we hold back because of fear.  We are afraid to step into unknown territory.  What if I fail?  What if people make fun of me? What if I get stuck on the way and don’t know what to do?  What if I’m not as good as I think I am.  Who cares?  Hey, just focus on the fun, the experiences, the satisfaction of following your heart.  You don’t have to win awards.  The very fact that you tried will be enough.  Life is simple.  Enjoy it while you can.

Here’s something I wrote a while ago about procrastination.

WELCOME TO SOMEDAY

I’ve been on this rough and winding road

No end in sight, the journey is long

The sun is setting, it’s getting dark

Gotta stop awhile, but then move on

 

Always wanted to go one day and

Bury my fears down by the bay

Gather some courage, and finally say

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

 

My haversack had waited endlessly

Got all I needed, but just couldn’t see

Procrastination was the death of me

Someday would never come, if I didn’t leave

 

I stopped at a shabby roadside shack

Sipped some coffee, walked a little track

My eyes spotted a gritty little plant

It was pushing its way up through the rocks

 

There is always a way, it seemed to say

The darkening sky promised another day

The stars sprayed me with their brilliant light

I was ready now to put up a fight

 

Procrastination was the death of me

Someday would never come, if I didn’t leave

Now I’ve got the nerve to finally say

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

 

So now I’m on a rough and winding road

No end in sight, the journey is long

But the brilliance of stars screams out and says

The time is here, ‘welcome to someday!’

Hope you find the motivation to follow your heart.  Blessed be!

© Renica Rego

A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE

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March ended on a cheerful note.  It was mum’s birthday on the 31st.  Mum has always been an advocate of simple living.  She turned 68 this year, but has more energy and enthusiasm than a 40-year old (that would be me! Haha!).  She leads a very modest life.  Frugal meals, long walks, evenings with friends and tinkling laughter – these are the things that define her.

Usually we take mum out on her birthday, buy her lunch or dinner and bring her expensive gifts. This year, my brother and I agreed that a simple and meaningful birthday celebration would make her happier.  So we decided to cook for her.  It was meant to be a surprise, so we kept it all hush-hush.  My sister-in-law made delicious butter chicken, mutton and rajma (red kidney bean gravy).  I made a rice pilaf and fresh coriander chutney and my brother made a yummy cake.  The joy on her face was priceless.  And the image of her sitting cross-legged on the floor and relishing that meal will never leave my memory.

After lunch, we piled up on her bed, surrounding her with laughter and conversation. My adorable 16-month old nephew, kept us in splits with his antics.  Later, we took a leisurely walk in the park, let the grass tickle our bare feet, soaked up some warm sunshine, admired the pretty blossoms and swapped some gossip.  It was a glorious day.  Ordinary and exceptional all at once!

As I’m writing this, U2s song ‘Ordinary Love’ is playing in my head.  “The sea wants to kiss the golden shore, the sunlight warms your skin/ All the beauty that’s been lost before, wants to find us again…. We can’t fall any further, if we can’t feel ordinary love/ And we cannot reach any higher, if we can’t deal with ordinary love”.

I agree.

© Renica Rego