DRENCHED IN INSIPIDITY

dubai

Back in 1998, I wrote a letter to the editor of a reputed magazine in the U.A.E. It was an emotional response to an article in the previous issue. My letter got picked as the ‘best letter of the week’ and I won a gift voucher of AED 200. That was a lesser victory compared to the call that came through two days later. It was the editor himself offering me an apprenticeship at the magazine. Instead of grabbing the offer with both hands, I hesitated and turned it down. I made excuses saying the current job was more secure; besides I did not have any writing background or qualification. Looking back, it baffles me to think that a stranger had more faith in me than I did myself. He did plant a seed in me though, and true to his word, watered it too by publishing everything I wrote in my free time. But think about the opportunity I kicked just because I lacked faith in my ability as a writer.

We all have stories like this one – of missed chances, things unproven, time wasted, talents buried alive. And it all stems from one thing – lack of faith in our selves. Being a Reiki healer, I now know that our realities stem from all the emotional baggage we heave onto our fragile shoulders as children. What we believe about ourselves, how we perceive the world, our fears and insecurities go back right into the bleak alleys of our childhood.

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Tender minds are easily affected and every word, every gesture is important. As a parent myself, I can see the errors I have made. We can’t really blame ourselves though, because at any given time, we act on our knowledge and experience; we aren’t perfect and mistakes happen. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “When you know better, you do better.” What’s important is that we grow; there’s always room to grow. Evolution is the best example we can set for our children. If I harp about faith and resilience to my daughter and waste my own talents, I am not doing the right thing.

After years of living a corporate life, my friend Roshin recently dared to swerve off into a totally new direction. She quit her job and started living her dream. It takes courage and self-love to do that. New beginnings come at a cost, but as you go forward and the journey becomes the destination, you realize that it’s totally worth the effort. Our past doesn’t have to define us. We can choose to change. We can let our story show how resilient and adaptable the human spirit can be.

Every morning, I sit at my desk by the window and urge myself to come alive. Some days I stare at blank screens and nothing comes forth. Then there are the inspired, dazzling days when words just come pouring out and jostle for space; when every alphabet dances and my soul is reflected in them. Those are the days when my faith is restored, when the fire is stoked and strengthened, when life feels intense and earnest.

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Today is one of those adequate days. It’s drizzling outside and the breeze is pleasantly cool. The outside world has become a metaphor for the inside world. Monsoon is my absolute favorite season. Everything comes alive and looks so spectacular. I love winter too, but the poetry and romance of raindrops on quivering leaves pulls at my heart like nothing else can. The dust of summertime failures is washed away and new hope glistens. This is the season that makes me want to sparkle. We live drenched in insipidity just because we are afraid to step out of it. It’s only when we relegate fear and pull up our cob-webbed bits of courage and polish them to a shine that things will ever change. Time relentlessly marches forward and seasons change. So why can’t we?

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16 thoughts on “DRENCHED IN INSIPIDITY

  1. You are a good writer….I have always appreciated that…may you blossom even more as a writer…The fears will be the fuel which will help you accelerate further

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  2. I believe I am like a drop of water…but you are the morning rays..you inspire me to see the vibgyor in myself. Keep writing. Keep inspiring.
    love and faith,
    Aishwarya 🙂

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  3. Insecurities are a part and parcel of our lives.What is imp.that we don’t lose our positivism .For if we let it happen it is dooms day not only to ourselves but also to those mean a lot in our lives
    This piece of writing is very motivational and inspirational too.
    This should be our funda of living life and living to the fullest with no remorse

    Ren I will also add u look stunning in the pic.

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  4. Thanks Ren for putting our thoughts down.. Most of your thoughts are ours but you translate it beautifully down. Keep the pen with you at all times. Rose

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  5. Pretty nice writeup, showing the ‘Realities’ of life. You are a writer indeed !!!
    May be you skipped then to learn more and rise up again, like the bamboo, that takes a short time to be a towering giant(final rise), but takes years to grow above, for it had been building its roots to sustain itself for a brighter future, that will be towering above all !!!
    My blessings and wishes for you in advance and always.

    Another of your inspiring article, no words to define!!!
    Well done and well said, every word of it. Keep writing.

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  6. The same fear what i had long yrs back, but with courage nd by the blessings of r almighty god i came through, even though aftr missing so many oppurtunities ur inspiring wrds make me feel goooood nd some rays of hope for the future. Follow ur path as a genuine writer my dear, nd thnks for ur inspirational wrds god bless u. Lovely pics too

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