UNBROKEN

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We’re not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again – Pink 

My earliest memory is of a three year old me, sitting by the window in the fading light, waiting for Dad to come home. I never went to bed without saying goodnight to him. He always brought home a little present for me – a small bag of grapes or oranges or a bar of chocolate. Maybe it was the goodies I used to wait for, but I like to believe that we had a strong bond, one that can only be had between a father and daughter. This might be the reason the memory is so vivid in my mind. It was also the best time I had with him; because around then Dad got a job in Kuwait and what we were building one brick at a time collapsed like a house of cards. At the time it was difficult for me to understand his sudden absence from our lives. Like any child, I felt betrayed and confused. At times like these, though it’s no one’s fault, lives are affected beyond repair and the ramifications leave tangible footprints that can never be erased. Time will fill up the deepest gash, yes, but there are always scars. It took me a long, long time to fill up the emptiness, erase the misery and genuinely laugh again.

All these thoughts resurfaced and floated around in my head a few days ago. My thoughts are never in sync, but even then it was strange because I was in a happy place and it was a happy time. My husband and I were celebrating 21 years of togetherness. We had woken up early that morning and like two fuzzy headed lovers, cruised along the highway humming love songs and smiling for no reason. There was a light drizzle, the verdant mountains sprawled lazily and the world seemed incredibly beautiful.

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We got to our destination and checked into a quiet, cozy little room that overlooked the lush greenery and the sea beyond. It wasn’t a swanky place, in fact, it was way too simple, but there was an old world charm to the austerity. As if life was deliberately made unadorned and effortless. We arranged our few things, freshened up and stepped out. The ocean lay just across the road. We ambled along to be met with a gloriously forsaken looking stretch of pale gold sand spread out in both directions, the water gentle and playful in its kissing of the shore. I sat there for what seemed like an interminable time.

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Later in the evening, when the tide was higher, we went back. The day had been replete with moments that deserved a place in my mental scrapbook. It was at sundown, as we sat looking out at the sea, waiting for twilight that those childhood memories came gushing back to me. It was baffling at first. But then I understood. The bricks that had collapsed all those years ago had been picked up over time. Slowly and surely, they had been placed one upon the other; and now life stood weathered but sturdy. All of those early years spent in a state of incompleteness had somehow led me to this moment years later. A moment that felt so complete that nothing could make it more perfect. This is how life comes full circle. When I look back, nothing looks like a coincidence. There is a coherent pattern to how every second moves from one to the other.

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That night we lingered over our meal and talked of random things. We got a little drunk and sang songs in our Spartan room. Without even realizing it, my gash had filled up, my scars had faded and I was unbroken and beautiful. That’s what I like about life. It takes away a lot from you, but if you’re patient and understanding, someday you are blessed with an abundance that takes your breath away.

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18 thoughts on “UNBROKEN

  1. Yup, finally the answers, life has come full circle, and abundance shall it be, “You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”
    Swami Vivekanand

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  2. I guess we are Blessed with Abundance to have You and Your ever beautiful Slice Of Life writings that makes us thank our own lives. Stay Blessed.

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  3. Life throws us stuff only what we can handle..if we go by that principle, there is nothing in life that we can’t handle..nothing can break us.

    This is an interesting fact which I hope our youngsters realize before it is too late.. All of us look for an easy way out and not realize the importance of patience, of waiting to learn from life, the beautiful twists and turns life takes us through..and ultimately coming the full circle..

    Thank you Renu for this love-filled writing that has brought about the whole positive side of life to light..

    Love always,
    Melanie

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    • I believe our young ones are going to do just fine. They are an intelligent lot. As mothers, we are bound to worry, so that’s fine too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mel. Love you too.

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  4. I can understand the bound between father & daughter, as I am blessed with one and enjoy the bound with her. You have the skill to write what you have in mind as you are the blessed one. Keep up the good work.

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  5. Life is beautiful. One does not realise what is life, its so easy to complain about smaller things rather than feeling blessed for all the gifts this life has given us.

    Wonderful parents,loving spouse,lovely kids and a strong family.
    I always feel blessed and look at every shortcoming as a blessing in disguise.
    And this is what I try to imbibe in my kids .
    Hoping they will too realise how beautiful life is and how we can make it more beautiful by not complaining but striving in any given situation

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  6. Renu….theres always light at the end of a tunnel….God made women strong from within n after every failure in life we bounce back….thats the beauty of a woman….you are one of those beautiful creation…..xx

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  7. Beautiful and thought-provoking. Hope our kids cherish the relationships they have. A father-daughter bond is the best one for me.
    Your words instil a lot of hope and positivity. Keep writing and keep sharing.

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