TRACING TIME

oct01

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. – Jim Rohn

The swelling days of post-monsoon are upon us. The cloudbursts have departed and left in their wake a sweltering sun that drips of drowsiness and nostalgia. Memories of iced teas, languorous weekend afternoons, sweat trails down sticky backs. And somewhere in those reminiscences lie deeper notions.

It dawned on me that last October, I was somebody else. We don’t notice it but when we do, we realize that the landscape has changed beyond recognition. Priorities with regards to health, work, self, others…everything is different. Some old friends I never expected to see again have brazenly reappeared and taken centre stage in my life. The ones who were always there, have disappeared. Perceptions have changed. Nuances have altered. And I gather that this is how life unfolds. It creeps up on you sneakily, surreptitiously.

Change is a constant, yes. But there comes a time when everything seems to be changing rapidly. It’s about the time you hit the ‘Big Four-O’. As you’re rambling along, you suddenly notice the post-it gathering dust under the London magnet on your refrigerator and realize that all the things you ever wanted to do are still un-ticked. So you square your shoulders, pull up your chin and decide it’s time.

The more you think about life, the less sense it makes. But I’m done with over-analysing things.  Joy trumps everything now. Our time and space are sacred. So if I feel like painting, why not just pick up the brush and play with colours. Does it matter if I’ve never painted before? If I can’t sing, it doesn’t mean I won’t sing. I go so far as to unapologetically record my amateurish vocals, share it with friends and have a little laugh over it.

At times when deep, dark thoughts peep at me, I try to make them a part of my narratives without brooding too much. It’s in dark, random cracks that brilliance often lies. The demons in your head will keep riling you, but you keep the power and they go away. This is how I’d like to embrace life. This is how I want to revel in the moments and spaces where I feel boundless and infinite. What else is there?

The banality of the world doesn’t leave you. But if you can take flight even for a few moments, it’s worth it. Once you experience that kind of joy, you can no longer look at the world the same. Because you know what life can feel like; you know what you are capable of being. In the words of Mooji, “The value of life will be determined by the value you place upon yourself which, in turn, depends on what or who you believe you are. Paradoxically, when you discover yourself to be beyond name, form and conditioning, life sparkles from the inside, like a celestial diamond”.

I have a friend who always says that it’s not the same for everyone. He thinks you need a privileged life and the luxury of time to live the life of your dreams. But there’s something to be said about choice. You can start small. There was a time when I cowed down to the pressure of being who the world wanted me to be. But the moment I decided to be content and started taking little steps towards my own vision, I noticed that they add up and take me forward.

Maybe it just comes down to the fact that some of us are ready to change and others are not. But when you feel like you’re ready, recognize it and don’t let anything stop you. Time won’t wait. And life will end. But don’t let your life end on a note of ‘what if?’ Remember… you get only so many trips round the sun.

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4 thoughts on “TRACING TIME

  1. Amazing thought.. only I have the choice to change something in life that I want… I totally agree. It definitely is not easy, but start small.

    Excellent Renu..

    Like

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